My old girlfriend got fat. Huzzah!


Radio Happy Hour

Radio Happy Hour

She found me on Facebook. She was so cute back in high school. I was rather fat, if we’re being honest (and I believe honesty is important). My mother felt bad for me and told everyone I was just husky. God bless her. I was both fat and husky. But I was also hairy and, again if we’re being honest, sweaty. A girl I went out with, let’s call her V, was very dainty and attractive and, yet, buxom (I mean she had boobs), and she spoke French. In fact, she didn’t speak English. Just French (I always had better chances with the foreign exchange students. They were so lonesome). When I took off my shirt the first time she said (in broken English), “You are much more fatter than I have imagined. And you have un hairy body that causes body water.” Indeed. The French are so charming. 

But now according to Facebook, she is now more fatter than I. Too much hot boeuf, I guess. 

That’s all for now. I’m taking my shadenfreude to the gym for some cardio. 


PS. I used to be husky, hairy, and sweaty. I am no longer husky. Honesty is important.


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