This is a picture of Sam back when he lived in Minnesota.
Sam is writing this post right now. He writes in the third person, but unlike other assholes who write in the third person, he does not write in the “royal” third person. Sam’s third person is limited, because he doesn’t truly know himself.
Maybe he’s just scared to know himself. Maybe Sam is scared to love.
(re-read that sentence and then look at the picture above. It’ll really hit home just how scared Sam is to love).
No matter. Many of you texted Sam during the last show because you had forgotten to buy tickets and when you got to the show you realized it was sold old. Sam laughed and laughed because there was nothing else he could do. You should buy tickets in advance this time so that doesn’t happen again. It wasn’t the same without you at the show.
Well, Sam’s off to the batting cages!